Welcome to Dispordore /“Man You Have a Big Nose”

My other enterance to the Temple literary magazine, hyphen.



From the office of Harold Mehlman, the first hand account of Captain Davis of his trip to Dispordore:

In the coming years space travel will vastly increase and more and more ventures will be taken. The following is the account of MCI-89, travel robot companion to the valiant Captain Davis. The planet they encountered was called Dispordore, by the Earthlings; however the Dispordorians called it Place Where We All Live. You see the Disapordorians all looked like humans but had one strange trait. When they spoke they said what was expected as well as what they thought. So if a Dispordorian wife asked her Dispordorian husband if her dress made her look fat he would so answer “No of course not/ No your face does.” While this might propose a problem for all Earth women the female Dispordorians all were used to it. It has been edited by this office which is seen in the parenthesis. So now join Captain Davis and MCI-89 as they step off their ship, dubbed Schwarzenegger 1 after the United States’ buffest president, and are greeted by the Dispordorian President/Most Hated Man on the Planet:

“Well, well, well what do we have here MC. It seems that we are on a different planet but if I learned anything from our training video (Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston, the Marky Mark version sucks) this is obviously Earth in the future.” Davis exclaimed gallantly jumping down from his ship.
“Sir, soil samples state otherwise.” MCI-89 said almost prepared to shoot down his leader exclamation.
“Right well, I was just testing you MC. And…hmm…congratulations! You passed with flying reflected light that shows a cornucopia of shades (colors). I’ll send you a fruit basket next Halloween.”
“Thank you sir, but that is neither necessary nor prudent.”
Upon the horizon dozens of news cameras and vans as well as a few thousand people were rushing to the crash site.

“Look they’re here to welcome me,” said Davis “quick do I have anything in my teeth?”
“You look fine, sir.” MC stated, (he would have rolled his eyes and sighed if he had any eyes, eye sockets, or vocal cords.)
Then the President/Most Hated Man on the Planet entered “Welcome/come on this again, welcome/how many times do we need to do this, welcome/oh well everyone put on you plastic smiles, to you my metal friend! Oh and you brought a primitive man along with you for company how nice.”
“Hey wait a minute…do you got the double talk son?” Davis questioned
“Oh you’re speaking of the traditional false truth/true truth talk we Dispordorians/Place where we live-ians have been using for thousands of years/since last week.”
“Oh I see…coughfreakscough.”
“Ah in a gesture of friendship he speaks like us/jackass.”
Aside
“MC we must get out of here.”
“I concur, sir”
To President and crowd
“Well we must be off lots more of wonderful species to meet and they wont shake their own hands. Goodbye good friends hopefully our time will let us meet again.” Davis said with a grand salute.”
“Thank you/thank God, thank you/ finally we can go back to playing PS 99, good traveling/good riddance.” the President/Most Hated Man on the Planet said. (The main export and source of income for the Dispordorians is entering and winning varying types of video game tournaments ranging from Halo 100 to classic scrabble.)

END TRANSMISSION

To this day no other humans have traveled to Dispordoria. Obviously their double talk is very annoying. Also many races take their way of speaking to offence. In the year 2067 A.D. the Dispordorians were erased from the universe after they welcomed the Horgons, a race composed of ill-tempered and highly armed meerkats. There were no complaints.


Probably will be picked. So it goes,
Steve

"Hey you write very well, want another piece in our magazine"

Here is a love letter to no one that I submitted to my school literary magazine. It may not be very good but whatever after they received my Dear Me At 33, it was selected, they asked for another piece so here is what I cam up with:

With My Heart In One Hand and My Soul In the Other

Dearest one,
Yes it is I, bet you never thought you would get one of these from me. It's been far to long that my heart has had to endure this strain. However this can be easily remedied by three simple words...I Love You. Yes its true and i have felt this feeling for you from the day I met you. It is clear in my mind...your black hair feel on your shoulders magnificently, your eyes piercing me with every glance. I was still in the process of building some sort of self esteem when you chose another to be with. He was an older guy and I resented you. Later on I would learn you noticed my animosity, I never felt so low in my life. But then the glorious day came when you separated. From that I stayed away thinking I was not good enough. For the remainder of high school we shared a close friendship. And I, foolishly, thought that was enough. College was our next step and I began to feel for you once more what I had those years ago. Alas we attended different schools and I thought it could not be. So I began my true single life, involving myself with as many girls as I desired. But the more girls I saw the more it solidified my lust and love for you. So I devised a plan, to profess what I had been feeling to you over thanksgiving break. But once again the fates were against me. I find out you are in a relationship, not from you but another source. This news hit me harder than anything before. My first true heartbreak. Until this time I thought that I could at any time tell you I was ready and you would run into my arms. For the first time in our relationship I find that either you have moved on or you are just only interested in my friendship. Or perhaps you were just tired of waiting. But I need you to understand that I never felt good enough for you. I now know, with limited time maybe, that you must know my feelings. I can not go on living without you knowing, it hurts to much. If it is not to be, oh well at least I tried. And if Mark or any other guy ever upsets you or hurts you in anyway I will make them pay. I would do anything for you. Please understand this. If you feel the same way please wear the rose I included with this letter to the football game that I'm sure you will go to anyway. I will say it again I love you. Goodbye for now.
END LETTER

Probably won't be picked. So it goes,
Steve

Movie, Book, and Cd Review

Here's a transition post for myself and you all. Today I will review a Book, a Movie, and a CD. Lets get started...
Book:
Freakonomics by Steven D Levitt and Stephen J Dubner
It is a book about the world really. Asks strange questions but answers them so logically it took me by surprise. Very Good Read. A -
Movie:
Saw III
It was alright not as good as the first and sad to say not even the second. This movie is good for fans of the series but not suspenseful enough nor gory enough for my tastes. C +
CD:
The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
I was a little apprehensive about buying this album. While their first album is one of my favorites the second did not impress me to such a degree that I couldn't give it up. So when I read the first reviews I was shocked to hear such positive results. I was especially taken aback when my friend Mike told me he liked it, he is highly critical but not to the snob degree but the logical. So I bought the album and boy was I surprised. Arena rock all the way. This new album is more on track and something to be very proud of. A

So it goes,
Steve